When a marriage ends, it brings up feelings of sadness, anger, and relief. But coming to this decision is just the start of another journey. Unlike other break-ups, a divorce entails several factors, such as money, property, and children.
Your emotions shouldn’t be the basis of your decisions in a divorce. You have to enter the divorce proceedings prepared, knowing what to ask and when to or not to compromise. Preparing yourself mentally and emotionally does not guarantee a quicker divorce process, but it can make things a bit easier.
There is no “winning” a divorce
As your family lawyer or divorce attorney will tell you, divorce is less of a battle and more of a business transaction. Proceedings will involve decisions on spousal support, division of property, and child custody. Don’t let your emotions rule you during this stage to avoid arguments that will prolong the process.
Most divorce proceedings don’t make it to court, with couples choosing to make these decisions in their lawyers’ offices. But a full-blown court battle can still happen when neither you nor your soon-to-be ex-spouse can agree. When this happens, the emotional toll it takes on both of you will overshadow whoever it is that “won.”
Think decisions through
The decision you make in the divorce proceedings will have a long-term impact on your life. Don’t rush into a decision just to hasten the process. For example, choosing to sell a shared piece of property for the profit might result in a smaller payout than choosing to ask for its title to be transferred to you.
A divorce is not for your kids
Divorce is a personal matter between you and your spouse. The ill feelings you have for each other should not carry over to your children. Saying cruel things about your spouse in front of your children will only add to the emotional distress they are going through with your divorce.
You have to remember that they will continue to have a relationship with their other parent. As a parent, you should consider consulting a mental health professional to help your children deal with the divorce. It will give them some clarity during this difficult time in their lives.
Every divorce is unique to the couple
Although there is nothing wrong with hearing advice from divorced friends and family members, you shouldn’t let them influence your decisions. Every divorce has a set of issues that are unique to the couple. Always base your decisions on what you think is best for you and your children. If you need advice, consider consulting your attorney, accountant, or therapist.
Think of the future
Obsessing over the past is one of the most common reasons negotiations fall apart. It’s understandable to feel hurt or upset over things your spouse has done, but it is all in the past. Use the divorce proceedings to pave your path to a new future.
Approach the process with a willingness to make decisions that will benefit you both. Make compromises on minor issues and focus your energy on important matters, such as alimony and child support.
Set reasonable expectations
It’s not uncommon for a couple to have unreasonable goals when they go into divorce, but these things can only create delays. When you decide to divorce your spouse, make sure you read up on the laws that apply to your situation. Consult your lawyer and come up with a plan that will give you a good outcome.
Avoid making mistakes in this life-changing decision by learning about them. Prepare yourself to protect your interests and those of your children.